Memories: Pictures, Writing… and who I met yesterday!

it’s kinda funny how every time I meet a new girl it prompts me to write a few words.
I don’t do a good job of documenting my life, but i worry that one of these days will be the day that I finally meet that girl that I’ll eventually end up marrying.
And I’ll kick myself for not haven written a little something about the day we met. It hasn’t happened yet and all the times in the past I guess have just been practice writings. Not necessarily done in vane but more of a trial run in writing for that one time where I’ll really document it well and have something great to show my kids. Instead of “Met a nice girl today” say her name and then say if my baseball team won or something, end of story.

It seems that at the end of the day or sometimes on the morning after I’ll just be wishing I had done more or have a heart full of emotions. And as the state of emotions are such that they are very subject to change I want to create something that makes me look back and remember.

I think I have a special connection to pictures because they do just that. They make people (and by people I put high emphasis on myself) remember the details of and perhaps even recall the feelings of a certain event. I have this connection because much of my past years are lost in oblivion of my forgetfulness . I do remember some things and as I think about those things they are most often connected to pictures. The pictures somehow serve as an anchor on that memory or that event.
I don’t think we realize how much of our life passes by and we think we’ll never forget this powerful moment and these dramatic feelings and emotions. Sometimes they’re so powerful we think them impossible to forget. But I speak for my segment of the population when I say… they can be forgotten (recalled later yes), but certainly they aren’t immune. I’ve had some amazing things happen in my life, and while some of them have stayed as frequent reminders and pop up often others have been gone for many years. They pop back up from time to time as another event makes us recall them that is for certain. But almost 30 years of experiences you’d hope there were more than just those rare occasions. And I know that some very powerful events haven’t been recalled since a week after they happened well over 10-15 years ago.

So perhaps that longing to be able to remember is why I hold on to and love photography as much as I do. One of the theories.

But there is another great and even older method of recording our experiences and feelings. Another way that can bring things back. It takes a lot longer to create but still often can be seen as an art that can flourish with our creativity… and that’s writing.
It’s what I’m doing right now and it’s the presice reason I am doing it.

Now this one is harder for me. I don’t do it nearly as much and I reread the things I wrote even less. But I do find myself to be quite wordy and I can go on for a long time.
That’s another thing that keeps me away so often… it takes so long to say everything I want to say… and some days I don’t even feel like saying anything, let alone spending ages doing it.
And If I wait until there are days like these to say something I’ve missed such a long period of time that I can’t hardly touch upon a fraction of all I want to say.

Then there are those things that you’d rather forget so why write about them and anchor them in.

How do you approach recording in writing the instances of your life. With photography you often stick with recording the more exciting moments.
When writing in a journal it seems many do a travel-log of everything that’s going on, like an itinerary of their daily proceedings. Others I’m sure are more about their thoughts and feelings. Some don’t do it at all and I wonder what they see when they look back at 30,50, or when they have grandchildren. What do they see looking back.
Maybe it’s just me who can’t remember and everyone else is doing just fine.

But the thing about writing (or for that matter talking to someone) is that it helps to understand your feelings. Either to define them better, or in some cases to escape them, like when we’re hurt. Sometimes writing or talking seems to help us cope with them and other times I think we just want to dwell in them (either positively or for the worse)
Today is one of those days I just want to dwell on it, just kinda stew in the feelings of yesterday.

I’ve kinda always seen myself as kinda a hopeless romantic and kind of emotional.
I suppose for a hopeless romantic who’s primary goal in life has always been to get married and have a wonderful family that being single for quite a few years has been hard.
But there’s a lot of lessons to be learned out of it and I can see that I’m only stronger for it. Besides there are some pretty important things I’ve been able to do and I’ve had perhaps the grace to be able to set those yearnings on hold while I do those other important projects that I know my Father in Heaven needs and has chosen me to do. (Not that he wouldn’t have just gotten someone else to do them, but it just so happens to be on me)

As you might tell the more I feel the more I reflect and the more I write.
And if you’re still listening… I’m impressed. If not you’ve probably been wise and skipped to the next thing. Heck I don’t read the long blogs either.
But sometimes we just write for ourselves.

But anyway I guess i should say. “Met a nice girl today” her name was ####… and the Padres won! (Name withheld to protect the innocent, I’m sure she knows who she is.)