I think I have a death wish

So let me just say that what I’m doing is not healthy.

I keep on accepting more and more august weddings.
You say… now that’s not really that bad at least you get lots of money.
Yes, I suppose you’re right, I might not have to work the rest of the winter… or at least pay stuff off.

But let me give you a run down.
2 weddings is a decent month… you can stay afloat on that, specially when you’re young and single.
3 is a busy month

My busiest month prior to august has been May = 6 weddings
I felt like i was going crazy trying to get everything done… way into july.

now let’s skip to 8! That’s crazy stuff!

That’s about the time I said… “No More”

Then a friend calls… someone I’ve been teaching and working with to help her be a wedding photographer herself. She’s getting married… and I say… yes. Plus it will be one of the few travel weddings for me in August. (Texas and San Diego) She even kinda rearanges the time to fit around another wedding I have that day and the other reception I have in San Diego the next week. Cool stuff.

Then I get another one… and another one… and another one…

And I keep saying yes.
I really have stopped counting… suffice it to say… Buy stock in Caffienated sodas, because it’s gonna be a crazy month!

Hello mid-September I’m waiting for you!

This blogging thing

Some people I know are really into this blogging thing… and their excitement is infectuous!

Therefore I find myself writing more often.
Besides being in contemplative moods and trying to figure things out in my mind make me want to write more often.

So what if only a tiny fraction of people who check out my other websites don’t even know this blog exists!

With the breath of Kindness

It seems we often hide things from other people to show a better side.
And why many of us will promptly label the practice as deceptive and bad, I’m sure someone could come along and explain why in certain situations it isn’t so terrible.
I guess it pivots on why we did it.
Sometimes we just don’t tell people because there’s no reason to… perhaps it’s just not important enough.

Anyway I’m not here to wax philosophic about it.
Just to say I find myself just spitting everything out from time to time!
Even when not asked…. specially then.
I tell people the reasons and actions that usually lead up to something, like sharing the inner workings of my madness

EX) I told someone today the reasons, thoughts and actions that led up to me leaving an embarasing voicemail message on their phone… only to have those things in reality be more embarassing in the end.
And it’s not like I didn’t know! I thought about it and said it would be embarassing if I told her… but when it got in my head to tell her I just decided why not and did it!

Perhaps it’s the Ego letting go and saying… they can see all of me for all I care. So what if it’s a laugh at my expense! It’s all about great memories… and unless we do something memorable it won’t be worth remembering anyway!

I wouldn’t say I do this in all occasions… perhaps I’m hoping the following quote rings true!

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithhful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. ”

— George Eliot

Seriously what a beautiful quote! It’s been one of my favorites for such a long time! How perfect really…
It really is what I’m looking for in a eternal companion! Someone who takes it all in and does exactly what Mr Eliot suggests

Can you relate?

Memories: Pictures, Writing… and who I met yesterday!

it’s kinda funny how every time I meet a new girl it prompts me to write a few words.
I don’t do a good job of documenting my life, but i worry that one of these days will be the day that I finally meet that girl that I’ll eventually end up marrying.
And I’ll kick myself for not haven written a little something about the day we met. It hasn’t happened yet and all the times in the past I guess have just been practice writings. Not necessarily done in vane but more of a trial run in writing for that one time where I’ll really document it well and have something great to show my kids. Instead of “Met a nice girl today” say her name and then say if my baseball team won or something, end of story.

It seems that at the end of the day or sometimes on the morning after I’ll just be wishing I had done more or have a heart full of emotions. And as the state of emotions are such that they are very subject to change I want to create something that makes me look back and remember.

I think I have a special connection to pictures because they do just that. They make people (and by people I put high emphasis on myself) remember the details of and perhaps even recall the feelings of a certain event. I have this connection because much of my past years are lost in oblivion of my forgetfulness . I do remember some things and as I think about those things they are most often connected to pictures. The pictures somehow serve as an anchor on that memory or that event.
I don’t think we realize how much of our life passes by and we think we’ll never forget this powerful moment and these dramatic feelings and emotions. Sometimes they’re so powerful we think them impossible to forget. But I speak for my segment of the population when I say… they can be forgotten (recalled later yes), but certainly they aren’t immune. I’ve had some amazing things happen in my life, and while some of them have stayed as frequent reminders and pop up often others have been gone for many years. They pop back up from time to time as another event makes us recall them that is for certain. But almost 30 years of experiences you’d hope there were more than just those rare occasions. And I know that some very powerful events haven’t been recalled since a week after they happened well over 10-15 years ago.

So perhaps that longing to be able to remember is why I hold on to and love photography as much as I do. One of the theories.

But there is another great and even older method of recording our experiences and feelings. Another way that can bring things back. It takes a lot longer to create but still often can be seen as an art that can flourish with our creativity… and that’s writing.
It’s what I’m doing right now and it’s the presice reason I am doing it.

Now this one is harder for me. I don’t do it nearly as much and I reread the things I wrote even less. But I do find myself to be quite wordy and I can go on for a long time.
That’s another thing that keeps me away so often… it takes so long to say everything I want to say… and some days I don’t even feel like saying anything, let alone spending ages doing it.
And If I wait until there are days like these to say something I’ve missed such a long period of time that I can’t hardly touch upon a fraction of all I want to say.

Then there are those things that you’d rather forget so why write about them and anchor them in.

How do you approach recording in writing the instances of your life. With photography you often stick with recording the more exciting moments.
When writing in a journal it seems many do a travel-log of everything that’s going on, like an itinerary of their daily proceedings. Others I’m sure are more about their thoughts and feelings. Some don’t do it at all and I wonder what they see when they look back at 30,50, or when they have grandchildren. What do they see looking back.
Maybe it’s just me who can’t remember and everyone else is doing just fine.

But the thing about writing (or for that matter talking to someone) is that it helps to understand your feelings. Either to define them better, or in some cases to escape them, like when we’re hurt. Sometimes writing or talking seems to help us cope with them and other times I think we just want to dwell in them (either positively or for the worse)
Today is one of those days I just want to dwell on it, just kinda stew in the feelings of yesterday.

I’ve kinda always seen myself as kinda a hopeless romantic and kind of emotional.
I suppose for a hopeless romantic who’s primary goal in life has always been to get married and have a wonderful family that being single for quite a few years has been hard.
But there’s a lot of lessons to be learned out of it and I can see that I’m only stronger for it. Besides there are some pretty important things I’ve been able to do and I’ve had perhaps the grace to be able to set those yearnings on hold while I do those other important projects that I know my Father in Heaven needs and has chosen me to do. (Not that he wouldn’t have just gotten someone else to do them, but it just so happens to be on me)

As you might tell the more I feel the more I reflect and the more I write.
And if you’re still listening… I’m impressed. If not you’ve probably been wise and skipped to the next thing. Heck I don’t read the long blogs either.
But sometimes we just write for ourselves.

But anyway I guess i should say. “Met a nice girl today” her name was ####… and the Padres won! (Name withheld to protect the innocent, I’m sure she knows who she is.)

What I’ve done this Last Month

Annual Charity Photo Shoot
40+ Photo shoots in one week, money donated to FFHE.org (a charity that helps families in Mexico)
You wanna see the pictures they’re not linked anywhere but here’s a cheat to get to them
http://jarviedigital.com/projects/08charity/
New Mexico Trip
1800+ Miles,
4 State
7 National Parks/Monuments,
2500+ Pictures,
1 Concert (a group i didn’t know beforehand, but now I like) Hawk Nelson

Arizona Trip
1700+ Miles
3 States
3 Spring Training Baseball Games
3 Basketball Games
2000+ Pictures
1 Car Break Down

Lots of Photo Shoots in Utah
1 Charity Run
1 Movie Set Shoot
7 Engagement Shoots
1 Visit to the Zoo

My Sister’s Challenge

My sister Kristen took advantage of having two photographers in the house for christmas.
She made a competition to see who could take the best pictures.
I’m supposed to choose 5 which is hard because there are two kids.

Here is my sisters’ 5 for the challenge

So I picked 3 of my favorites of Elric of which I have a ton and 2 of Zohlren

But first this is my favorite

–

Christmas 07 (Picture Story)

Here’s pretty much my whole trip to visit my family
They live in Klamath Falls, Oregon

See more on the Open Gallery
Or if you have a password go to Full Gallery

Most Importantly
We have ME… with my nephew Elric.

My parents with my sisters younger child Zohlren

And the mother of those two… My sister Kristen

A couple of Elric playing.

CONTINUE ON
To see the rest of the 40 pictures from my Christmas Adventure

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